Child not listening? Four steps to try today
When a child is not listening, go close, make eye contact and say exactly what you want them to do, one direction at a time. "Stop it!" tells a young child what you don't want, but not what to do instead. These steps follow the CDC's advice for parents of toddlers and preschoolers.
1. Get their attention first. Go to your child, say their name if you need to, and sit or crouch so you are face to face.
2. Say what to do. Say "Please walk" rather than "Stop running!" Say "Please put the toy down gently" rather than "Don't throw!" Make it a statement. "Do you want to put your shoes on?" gives them the chance to say no.
3. Give one direction at a time. Young children have a short attention span. Say "Shoes on, please", wait until that is done, then give the next one. Ask only for what they can do at their age. A child who can't do something is not disobeying.
4. Stay calm and follow through. Use a firm, calm voice, without shouting or begging. Before you give a direction, check you can follow through on it. Then check that they did it, every time. If they don't, give one warning and name the consequence: "Please put your shoes on, or we can't go to the park." When they listen, say so: "Thank you for walking."
Offer two choices. If you want your child to get dressed, try "Please wear the red shirt or the blue one." Two options are enough, and they let your child feel some control.
Source: CDC, Tips for Giving Directions.