How to calm an angry child
To calm an angry child, first keep them and everyone around them safe, stay close and give them time and space. Wait until you are both calm, then name the feeling and set a limit on the behaviour. These steps follow the CDC's advice for parents of toddlers and preschoolers. The CDC says tantrums are common at this age.
While your child is angry
- Keep everyone safe. Make sure your child and anyone nearby can't get hurt.
- Stay close. Keep your hands free and your eyes on your child, and let them have time to calm down.
- Calm yourself too. If you feel upset, pause and take a deep breath before you say anything.
Once you are both calm
1. Notice. Watch your child's face and body during the day, so you learn to spot a feeling before it gets big.
2. Connect. Show you noticed with eye contact, a small smile or a gentle pat on the back.
3. Listen. Keep your voice calm, and don't criticise the feeling.
4. Name it. "Your blocks fell. Are you feeling angry?" If you aren't sure, say "It looks like something is bothering you." If your child corrects you, try again.
5. Set the limit, then offer a next step. "It's okay to feel angry, but it's not okay to throw blocks. Should we stack them again, or start a puzzle?" Accept the feeling first, because rushing to fix the problem can make things worse.
If you are worried about your child's anger, talk with their doctor.
Source: CDC, Tips for Noticing and Naming Emotions.